The respite of 2005 was such a sweet blessing to us. Time to relax and enjoy each other, time to savor the blessings we so often took for granted. That came to a thundering crash in 2006.....the year that just wouldn't end.
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This was actually taken in 2005.
As far as I am aware,
it is one of the last pictures taken
of Momma and Daddy together. |
In late January 2006, Mommas condition had deteriorated to the point that an operation to create a fistula for use in dialysis was necessary if we wanted her to have dialysis. We were told that step was coming quickly. She had the surgery in early February. It would require several weeks to develop into a usable site for the large bore dialysis needles.
In mid-February, seemingly out of the blue, Terry became very ill. His temps were elevated, his blood pressure was like a yo-yo, as were his blood sugar measurements. This went on for about a week when he was suddenly hallucinating and could not get his temp down. I took him to the ER on February 21 thinking he had some sort of virus. We talked about stopping for a slaw burger on the way home. We arrived at the hospital and he walked into the ER triage area.
Upon triage, he was found to have a blood pressure of 42/28. They rushed him onto a gurney and ran with him into the ER trauma area. Doctors and nurses were immediately all over him starting IVs and doing this and that. I stood back in shock, as if I were witnessing something from a TV drama. He had 7 lines going in him within 5 minutes. Two nurses were straddling the gurney and manually pushing the large bags of IV fluids through large bore needles into his neck.
Within about 15 minutes, they moved the gurney into a trauma room and I was summoned to speak to a doctor. She spoke slowly and plainly, telling me Terry most likely would not survive the night. If he did, he would be on a ventilator and would most likely never be able to come off of it. She said they had no idea what was going on with him and wouldn't know anything until tests were done. She told me to call any family in who would want to see him before he died.
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Just minutes before, he had been talking to me about wanting a slaw burger for supper and now he was non-responsive and they were telling me he most likely would die. I could not reconcile one set of facts with the other. She told me a critical care/pulmonary specialist would be around to talk with me as soon as possible. I called my family and his and told them what was going on.
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| He loved covered bridges! |
Ricky, my brother-in-love, arrived first. He sat with me at Terry's bedside in the trauma room. The specialist came in to talk to us. He told us he had been in this field for over 35 years. He had never seen anyone as medically 'dead' as Terry actually survive. I asked if Terry was aware of how sick he was and what I should or should not say to him. He reassured me that he could hear me and that I should say anything I wanted him to hear as if it were the last time I would have the opportunity to talk to him.
Ricky and I prayed at Terry's bedside. We both wept and talked quietly with Terry. He opened his eyes once and tried to talk, but couldn't. I reassured him that I knew what he was trying to say and that Ricky was with me. I also told him other family were on the way.
Family came and went throughout the night. His condition did not improve. Over the next few days, he began to respond to the meds and was marginally improved. After 5 days, he was moved from the C.C.U. into a telemetry room. He was recovering well and was then diagnosed with a staph infection. New meds were ordered and he began to respond about 2 days later. He was discharged on March 4 and was doing relatively well. He had been diagnosed with 3 different types of strep infection and a staph infection. Had he not gotten medical attention at precisely the right time, the sepsis would have killed him. God is ALWAYS on time! ALWAYS!
Terry was home about 10 days when Momma became very ill and was admitted to the hospital. Although her fistula was not ready for use, she had reached the stage to require dialysis. A central line port was implanted into her right shoulder for access. She was dialyzed 4 times and sent home with orders for dialysis 3 times weekly at the out-patient dialysis clinic.
On Good Friday, April 14, she became very sick very quickly. She was transported by ambulance to the ER and was admitted. The doctor told us this was most likely nearing the end. She was dialyzed Saturday-Tuesday. On Tuesday, while Momma was in dialysis, her doctor met with me in her room and told me it was time to call an end to intervention. Momma was septic from the port and was not responding to medications or dialysis.
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Daddy
Our First Mother's Day Without Momma
May 2006 |
My sisters brought Daddy to the hospital and we told him. His heart was broken, but he knew it was now time to let her go. Momma went home to be with Jesus about 2:45 a.m. on Thursday, April 20. She entered eternity quietly and peacefully after having suffered for so long. Our family was so lost without Momma, but we knew we now had to help Daddy through his grief and set about doing so.
The days passed and we grieved Mommas absence, but we also praised the Lord for taking her home while still having cognitive abilities enough to know us all. She had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's in 1998. My maternal grandmother had also had Alzheimer's. It had been Mommas worst fear that she would forget us before she died. She prayed fervently that the Lord would allow her to come home before that happened. As much as it hurt to give her up, we knew the Lord had answered her prayer and were thankful.
Terry continued to be weak and couldn't seem to recover as well as we thought he should. In mid-July, he went for a follow-up visit and had routine labs. A couple of days later, we were notified we were being referred to a gastroenterologist for a liver work up because the tests had shown possible liver disease. We saw the GI doctor, who confirmed cirrhosis was suspected. A new series of labs were ordered and an endoscopy was scheduled to check for varices or swollen blood vessels in the esophagus, which would be a sure indicator of cirrhosis and would mean a liver biopsy was warranted.
The endoscopy showed three varices which were swollen, but not yet ready for 'banding', a procedure to tie off the swollen vessels and cause them to die in order to prevent rupture and possible bleed out. The lab results showed moderately elevated liver enzymes, low platelet count and elevated white blood cell count. All of these were indicative of cirrhosis.
It also revealed Terry had a genetic disorder called Alpha 1 Anti-tripsin disorder. It is an inherited disorder which can only be passed to the children of two individuals who carry the gene. It is of no danger to either parent, but could be passed down to some of their children. Since Terry was an only child and we had no children, it was of no consequence to anyone except Terry. Basically, it meant that his liver was being destroyed by his body since the day he was born.
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Summer 2006
Just after we learned of his liver disease. |
Having been obese for most of his life and having developed Type II Diabetes only served to make matters worse. He had also had three lacerations of his liver in the accident which had been resolved without surgery. These factors had combined to destroy his liver at an early age. A liver biopsy confirmed he had Stage 4/4 cirrhosis. We didn't tell anyone for several months. It was just too hard and we needed time to get alone with God and make peace with it on our own before sharing with others.
On August 12, Terry's Mom had accidentally fallen out her back door and had landed flat on her back on concrete. She was able to get up and get inside on her own. She called me and I went immediately to check on her. She was in terrible pain and was beginning to have problems moving her legs. I called an ambulance and she was taken to the ER. She was diagnosed with six fractured vertebra, the last four thoracic vertebra and the first two lumbar vertebra. She was placed in a rigid back brace and sent home. She could do nothing for herself.
I called Terry and told him I was going to have to stay with her and we could talk the next day. He called the next morning and I explained what was going on. The doctor had said she might need total assistance with activities of daily living for a year or more. I told Terry I thought we should move in with her so I could take care of her and him because her house was bigger. He didn't want to do that; he wanted to admit her to a nursing home. I begged him to just let me try it for a month or two and see if I could do it.
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Ms. Gladys and Mr. Bo
My In-Loves
About 2000 |
I talked to my sisters and told them they would have to take care of Daddy because I couldn't manager Terry and his Mom full time plus helping with Daddy. They assured me they could take care of Daddy and that I should go ahead and not worry about it. So, within four months of Mommas death, Terry and I moved from our home into my MIL's home.
Taking care of my MIL was more exhausting than I had thought it would be, but I was committed to doing it and doing it well. I lifted her out of bed each morning and into bed each night. She could do nothing for herself. She had been a very independent woman and didn't take well to so much dependence. She and Terry argued constantly and I was caught in the middle. It was exhausting just to try to be in a conversation with both at once. Both wanted my full attention and there was only one of me.
Terry loved his Mom dearly, but did not have a good relationship with her. He always felt manipulated by her from the time his Dad had died when he was nine years old. She had remarried five years later without ever talking it over with him, which caused a lot of problems not only between the two of them, but between his step-dad and him as well. It was a rough period.
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Charlotte
Daddy's House |
Charlotte had been having pains in her back since before Momma had died. They eventually got bad enough that she had to go to the ER one night. They diagnosed a kidney stone and scheduled her with a Urologist the next day. The doctor wanted to do the lithotripsy procedure to burst the stone into small pieces so she could pass it more easily. The procedure was scheduled for the next week.
The procedure went well and she was at home by late afternoon. However, late in the night, she got sick and had to go back to the ER. They admitted her and told Ricky she had an infection. After a couple of days, she was feeling better. I talked to Ricky on a Saturday night and was told she was feeling much better and would probably come home on Sunday.
Early on Sunday morning, Ricky called to say she had taken a turn for the worse quickly and had been moved to the C.C.U. She was septic and was near death. The doctor had advised him to call the family in. We rushed to get to the hospital to find her very sick. She could barely hold her head off the pillow and was vomiting regularly. Her condition was poor and her prognosis was poor as well. I couldn't believe we were there with my sister so close to death after all that had happened that year.
Over the next several days, she began to improve. The sepsis finally cleared and she began to slowly regain some of her strength. We were so thankful and couldn't stop praising the Lord for her healing! She continued to improve and came home a few days later. In October, she and her family took Daddy with them and went to the Smoky Mtns. for her to rest and recuperate.
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Dec. 25, 2006
Daddy's House
Our First Christmas Without Momma
and
Our First Christmas After Terry's Cirrhosis Diagnosis |
By December, I was feeling very sick again. I thought it was just the stresses of the year making my stomach issues revolt. I went in to see my doctor at Vandy and was told my stimulator battery had died and would have to be replaced. Surgery was scheduled and the stimulator was replaced a week before Christmas. The battery was supposed to have lasted at least 5 years. However, my muscles had so little nerve stimulation that the impulses required to contract the muscles had to be stronger than normal. This cut the battery life less than half.
By Christmas, we were all feeling better but so sad because this was our first Christmas without Momma. I remember watching Daddy and thinking he was just moving through the motions. I understand that now.
In that day the people will proclaim,
“This is our God!
We trusted in him, and he saved us!
This is the Lord, in whom we trusted.
Let us rejoice in the salvation he brings!”
Isaiah 25: 9 (NLT)
In fact, this is love for God:
to keep his commands.
And his commands are not burdensome,
for everyone born of God overcomes the world.
This is the victory that has overcome the world,
even our faith.
Who is it that overcomes the world?
Only the one who believes
that Jesus is the Son of God.
I John 5: 3-5 (NIV, 2011)
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