Tidbits Now Departing Arkansas

I have so enjoyed my tidbit journey.  Even my husband has gotten into it. He loves all the tidbit journals. Like me, he was especially blessed how God dropped the idea in a dream.  What an awesome God we have!

Even though I can't figure out how to add a following on some of your blogs, I enjoy reading each one.  You all have a unique gift for the right word for me each time I click on your posts.

I feel God has a final tidbit to pass along to my sisters; His beloved daughters.  I was reading Jeremiah 32.  As is so often the case, I walked away with a new point of few.  God instructed to Jeremiah to buy up all of the land of Jerusalem possible.  Even thought the land was under siege and by the world’s value system, their real estate held no value.

Even as the Israelites were being punished in their disobedience, God was already at work preparing their restoration.  Sometimes I get discouraged. I wonder when God is going to answer that prayer.  When is that promise going to be fulfilled? These verses in Jeremiah remind me; God is always busy making restoration plans. With our earthly eyes and emotions, we too often do not recognize His perfect plan has long since been activated on our behalf.

So my dear sisters this is my last tidbit. Whatever you are waiting on God to do, be assured He is on the way.  He has already formulated a plan especially for your particular need. Maybe the plan was made before you even realized the need!

I hope you will hit the follow button on my home blog.  I love seeing your precious faces.  I too so look forward to hearing how God is working in your lives.

The Lord answered Moses, “Is the Lord’s arm too short?  Now you will see whether or not what I say will come true for you.”  Numbers 11:23

Cookie Cutters

Well girls, I am sorry to say yesterday found me in a bit of a snit.  I have been a walker for as long as I can remember.  I like walking.It is a great opportunity to enjoy the beauty of God's incredible creations while alleviating stress.

Approaching my retirement years (ahem) I have tried to be even more exercise conscious.  My goal was to be totally medication free by my next birthday.  Yesterday I received the results of my annual physical.  I guess you could say I failed pretty much everything according to "standardized" charts.

How many ways can we say this is so wrong!

I consume vitamins, calcium, run at least four or five times a week.  With the nasty winter we have experienced I was looking for an indoor exercise that did not take up space.  I have begun jump rope training. That's right---training! I was thrilled just to get off the ground. I am ever so gradually getting into it.  It was so simple when I was a kid. 

Even with doing all of the "right things" for my health---my doctor informed me I was overweight by six pounds.  That was offensive to my pride. However, when she said my bones were thinning I was really, really upset.  I have a fear of ending up like my Mom. She like so many of her generation had the haunched back from osteoporosis.

I started looking at some of these recommendations and was appalled. Is it any wonder our young girls have eating disorders and self esteem issues?  God did not design us to be cookie cutters.  We are each wonderfully created individually by Him.

I want to be clear, exercise and health is a Christian responsibility.  We are to do our best to take care of His temple, (our body) to further His purposes in our life.

However, we are not to be conformed to the pressures of the world standardization of what it thinks we should be.

So, today I am asking God what He would have me do in maintaining my health.  I don't expect Him to say, "Eat all the chocolate you want, my dear child."  I do expect He will continue to guide and sustain me in this journey as well. 

I envisioned an army of "Lindas" marching aimlessly through the Village. The scene reminded me of a clip from the Stepford Wives movie.  Now that friends is both comical and a bit frightening.  Be thankful you are individually, hand crafted and designed by the Great Creator. Sorry Barbie!

You knit me together in my mother’s womb.

your works are wonderful,

I know that full well.

Psalm 139:13-14

That’s Why I Made You

Yesterday K-LOVE radio played a song I had not heard before.  The question was asked, “God, Why don’t you do something?”  The reply, “That’s why I made you!” I don’t remember the artist or the exact title of the song. The message still rings clear.

This Easter I will celebrate 13 years cancer free.  I asked of God only one time, “Why me?”  His reply was, “Why not you?”  Good answer. While I didn’t know then, God was busy making a plan for today!

Dan has always felt the call to the ministry.  Circumstances derailed his plans.  What little self esteem I had in those days, I tried to bolster through my job.  Only God knows why but the chemotherapy drugs completely erased my working knowledge and abilities.  It was both scary and humiliating.

“It just so happened” while I was taking cancer treatments our church established Grace Christian Bible College.  Dan was torn between looking after me and pursuing his hearts desire to study Biblical Foundations.  Too many times I had awakened to find him standing over me checking to see if I was still breathing.  Needless to say this was freaking me out.  I was more than ready for him to enroll in classes. He did enroll and graduate fulfilling his heart’s desire. 

Dan also had a secular job he loved.  It was extremely difficult to let it go.  When it was clear his physical heart could no longer bear the load of his job, he retired. He too was a bit lost and a bit panicked as well.

Over a dozen years later, God is doing a new thing in our lives through His deliberate plans.  Dan is now ministering in different venues.  I, with his full support, am able to focus my time and energy in pro life ministries. 

I have learned self must be parked at the front door when entering into worship through serving.  God can only move effectively through emptied vessels.

Has God has placed a burden on your heart? Is there a dream you feel is out of reach? Maybe God is whispering, “That’s why I made you!”

 In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps. Proverbs 16:9

Love Day

Tidbits Arkansas Journey

I received a lovely package in the mail yesterday.  How very appropriate I received a love package from a Scarf Sister on Love (Valentine's) Day!

John 3:16

Valentine's Day is one of those stressful holidays.  That is, if you go the secular route.  We that know Jesus know that everyday of our life is LOVE DAY.  He is Love.

I confided in a friend recently there was a time I thought I was the queen of multi-tasking.  I kept all kinds of plates spinning at the same time. Looking back I wonder if I did any task justice.   These days keeping one plate on the stick can be a chore.

But then again, maybe it is the wisdom of retirement age to recognize the importance of doing one thing well. That one thing God has called us to do for one day at a time.  Maybe He once again is reminding us to sit at His feet, be still and know He God.

Happy Love day Sister!

HOW'S IT GOING?

Well, after baring my soul a couple of days ago I thought I should write a little follow up.

This past week has been glorious! I have felt the heaviest of weights lifted from off of my shoulders. I've realized that I've allowed my pain to isolate me; from others but more importantly, it's isolated me from God. I have given the devil the ground where he sowed the seeds of self-loathing and by listening to his taunts, I've allowed these destructive weeds to take root. Admitting my pain to Dave, to all of you but most importantly to myself and to God means I have woke up each morning with a smile on my face and feeling loved by God. Numerous times throughout the day, too many to count, God whispers the words, "Self-Control" into my ear. It makes me stop and realize that my eyes are leaving their focus or sometimes it's just a reminder that he is walking this road with me. Those words, "Self-Control" are my personal, spiritual "Round-Up"!

Just want you to know that I love you all and am encouraged by your loving words...

BROKENNESS

Well, the Tidbit Adventure has left the Lone Star State and is on the road...it should turn up early next week!

My last tidbit is more than a morsel, it's actually a mouthful. God has been at work on me this week and has revealed some pretty amazing things! I have struggled with my weight my entire life. From the time my parents divorced at age six, I have turned to food as my comfort. I remember as a little girl, my paternal grandma trying to "fix" me with some sort of diet over the summer when I was with her.

(Age 10 with my father and 3 older siblings)

I lost weight when I hit puberty and looked good for a short while, that is until I got pregnant at age 16 with my daughter Jennifer. From the time she was born, I was obsessed with my body. Lots of reasons why and none of them were healthy. I never liked how I looked and thought I was too fat. Boy, do I wish I was as fat NOW as I thought I was THEN! After Dave and I were married and Laura was born, I lost a LOT of weight. I got down to 123 pounds and felt like I was still too fat. I worked out 2 hours a day, 5 days a week and drank diet coke and took weight loss pills. I was anxious when I got pregnant with Charlie knowing that I would be giving up my body. I lost the weight but only because I forced myself to throw up food. All in this quest to be something I was never intended to be!

It's amazing to think that since moving to Texas I went to the opposite extreme. In 2004 I was diagnosed with this auto-immune disease, the Oncologist put me on steroids which wrecked my body until I finally had to take myself off of them! Then, my Mom was diagnosed with cancer, then my husband was diagnosed with cancer, my Mom died, Dave's cancer came back and all I have done is EAT to deal with everything. Each year the numbers on the scale have crept up and I just stopped caring altogether. I tried weight watchers and did okay for a short while but then I just stopped going.

I can't begin to tell you how I have really felt about myself. People think I have it all together and I have all this wisdom but inside, I have been dying...

Almost every morning has begun the same way. I open my eyes and am immediately filled with self-loathing over how I have put on SO much weight! I tell myself how pathetically weak I am and how disgusting it is that I can't even exercise a little self-control.

I have been believing a lie that I have allowed satan to plant in my heart and I have let it become my personal truth...

So here I am sisters, broken and transparent before you...

However...

Our church is doing a 40 day, church wide study, called FREEWAY. In December, Dave and I committed to lead a small group as facilitators. The study is about healing and being set free, our first meeting is tomorrow night. This past Sunday evening, God started doing something amazing within me. Dave and I were reviewing the questions in this first chapter and for the first time in my life, I told another human being how I was filled with self-loathing. It was hard to say that in front of this man that I love so much, but I did. Looking back, I truly believe that was my turning point. Monday morning I woke up and before I could even think about how pathetic I have become, God whispered into my ear, "You HAVE the ability to practice self-control. My Holy Spirit lives within you and Self-Control is a fruit of the Spirit." Say what!?

As the day went on I began noticing something. Regularly, God kept bringing the words self control to my mind. For the first time in a really long time, I wasn't thinking about food and when I did think about it, my attitude was totally different; my feelings were neutral, indifferent even. Now for someone who doesn't battle this kind of addiction this might seem a bit melodramatic but bear with me. We ALL are dealing with something, so just insert your own personal demon in place of my food. A couple more days passed and I suddenly realized that I was waking up happy and not condemning myself. I told God that this goes so much deeper than me losing weight, I NEED to be made whole and healthy in my spirit! I prayed that God would help me to find balance and then I remembered that "BALANCE" was the word that God gave me for 2014!!

So today I was running errands and typically I like to listen to Classic Rock. I decided to listen to the Christian music station, something I rarely do. I think it was because I needed to hear the first verse of a song that came on.

"You have to be broken for God to fix you."

As that rolled around in my head I realized that first of all, we are ALL broken! We come into this world broken, in need of a Savior. As we get older we deny that we are broken or we think that we can fix what's broken in our lives.

Secondly, we have to admit and surrender our brokenness to God before he can fix us.

This is my last tidbit sisters:

"You have to be broken for God to fix you."

EVERYWHERE YOU GO

"Everywhere you go, you take YOU with you".

This is one of our Pastor's favorite sayings, we call them Toby-isms at our church. We are grateful that God planted us in the church that He has, Cross Timbers Community Church. We're a non-denominational church that places Jesus first and strives to introduce more people to the life-changing power that only He can give. Dave and I came to to Cross Timbers in October of 2000, 10 months after it began. Cross Timbers was born out of a time of prayer and petition. Our head Pastor, Toby Slough and the Music Minister Brian Hackney, were led by the Holy Spirit to begin the church with 11 other families while praying for the healing of Brian and his wife Jamie's toddler son, Corban. Corban was born with a heart defect and while he only lived a short life, God used his life to birth a legacy that has grown to over 5000 people! How many of us will ever have that kind of impact?

(Corban is being held by Jamie)

Cross Timbers literally began meeting in a bar at a local dude ranch. Within the first month it was evident that God had placed His annointing on this body of Believers and they realized they had to have a permanent meeting place. Cross Timbers maintained its ties with Texas Lil's Dude Ranch where we held our Easter services until we grew too big. Flash forward to today where we have four campuses around the Dallas/FT Worth Metroplex and an online community as well. One of the reasons why God has blessed us is because we have an amazing shepherd, Pastor Toby. They don't come more earnest and down to earth then him.

(Pastor Toby with our daughter Jennifer and son in law Corey last summer when he was teaching at their church back in our hometown of St Louis.)

He recently taught a foundation series and in it he said the quote from above: "Everywhere you go, you take YOU with you!" What he was referring to is the mentality that so many Christians and non Christians alike have. If only...If only I had a bigger house...If only I had a better job...If only I had a new car...If only my spouse would do...If only (fill in the blank), I would be happy. Meaning, they are never content right where God has them. They have been tricked into believing that their restlessness will disappear once they have more stuff, once people treat them differently, once their circumstances change and so on. They look all around themselves and never realize that the problem lies within their own hearts! They are waiting for things to change but God is waiting to do a change within their own hearts! Until He does, they will never be satisfied and they will go from thing to thing, from relationship to relationship in an attempt to fill that emptiness that lies inside of them.

It serves as a good reminder to me that God is in the transforming business. One of the first scriptures that I ever memorized after becoming a Christian was

"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."

(Romans 12:2)

The Calling:

We are called to be different, to be different from the world around us.

The Process:

Renewing our minds on a daily basis, submission of our minds to the Holy Spirit who dwells within us.

The Result:

Clarity!

The antidote for our restless hearts....

DIGGING HOLES

Growing up I remember a saying my Mom had, one she used frequently. She always said,

"If you dig a hole for someone else, you're the first one to fall into it!"

(My Mom was a hoot!)

At the time I never realized that it came from the book of Psalms which reads:

"They dig a deep pit to trap others, then fall into it themselves. The trouble they make for others backfires on them. The violence they plan falls on their own heads"

(Psalm 7:15-16)

What she was telling me was that planning revenge or plotting against others, would only come back to hurt ME. There have been many times in my life where I have been wronged, as we all have. Times where I've been misunderstood, discounted or deemed irrelevant by others, sometimes the very people who did that to me, played an enormous role in my life! How do you move on and not want to heap coals upon their head? How do you not devise ways to get even? I'll be the first to admit that I don't have it altogether when it comes to that topic! There's a specific family member who pushes all of my buttons and I find myself revisiting the very issues I thought I had laid to rest!

One thing I do try to bear in mind, is that God will have His justice. What I have to repent for though, is my "Sic 'em God" attitude! I often think of Christ hanging on the cross and how His disciples in all likelihood thought,

"Just come down from there and show them who you really are! Boy will they be sorry they ever messed with you!"

Oh but I would NEVER do that! I mean, I have the Bible so I know and understand how His suffering and death was necessary and all part of God the Father's greater plan.

I do however, look at the moral collapse around us as a generation and think,

"Just come down from there and show them who you really are! Boy will they be sorry they ever messed with you!"

Hmmm....sounds familiar doesn't it?

Like I said, I don't have it altogether!

We live in an imperfect world and we are imperfect people, simple as that. I'm sure even Mother Theresa had her battles with the sinful man that lives within all of us. None of us are exempt, it is the human condition. All of that reinforces to me the need for a Savior. Paul sums it up in Romans when he says,

"What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!

(Romans 7:24-25)

What a hope that gives me to know that I am loved AND delivered. God is looking for progress and not perfection....