A few weeks ago a vote was taken from last years (2008-2009) Scarf Sisters. The sister with the most votes will receive the scarf in her mailbox to keep. Watch your mail and be sure to make a post should the scarf land at your home. Everyone did a super job of posting about the scarf's journey. This is not a competition ... but it's a nice ending to our first season.
Our new journey begins on September 1, 2009. Stay tuned.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Friday, August 28, 2009
a new kid on the block!!!
oh julie and andy and madeline....i am on my way out and how my heart is singing!!!
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TERRY
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR SWEET SWEET SISTER
LOVE YOU, TERRY
I PRAY YOUR DAY WAS HAPPY !!!
BLESSINGS
DONNA
:( sorry this is so late...forgive me
Praise and Prayer...
PRAISE:
I won't need the gel to be induced...I am already 2cm dilated, so they will break my water and then if needed they will use the drip. So...it shouldn't take very long for things to start happening once they induce me.
We were given a very nice night out last night. My friend has seasons tickets for the Blue Jays, and last night we went to enjoy the game...and she even gave us her GO pass to take the train into the city, which is much faster and easier. It was a great night and my parents and Madeline even saw us on tv! We were right by first base, 6 rows back!
PRAYER:
Still waiting, yet again for a bed at Sick Kids. They have been busier than normal, which is the reason for the delay. The nurse is going to check again this afternoon and this evening, so we may still hear from her later today. Or maybe I could just go into labour on my own? That would assure a spot at Sick Kids for the baby.
Our night out almost didn't happen last night. When we went to leave to drive to the GO station, the van was running rough and had white smoke coming out the tailpipe. My friend lent us her car for the evening and today we have started to look into getting it fixed. My friend's niece is going to take us to her mechanic, who she knows really well, which is nice because I won't feel like we're being made to pay more than we need to.
But...we called a mechanic friend at home this morning to get his opinion on the problem so we would have an idea, and if it what he thinks it is, it will be expensive and more than a one day job. So we are praying it's nothing that major. One praise item is that our friend has lent us her car in the meantime, so at least we aren't stranded.
Last night's events almost ruined the evening for me, which I know is something the enemy wanted, and I felt like I just couldn't take anything else going wrong. We prayed about it and managed to forget our problems for the evening, so we won over him! Ha ha satan...take that! We are just trying to continue to praise God for every situation we find our selves in...and that is hard sometimes, but I know there is power in praise.
I will continue to keep you updated on the baby watch...
I won't need the gel to be induced...I am already 2cm dilated, so they will break my water and then if needed they will use the drip. So...it shouldn't take very long for things to start happening once they induce me.
We were given a very nice night out last night. My friend has seasons tickets for the Blue Jays, and last night we went to enjoy the game...and she even gave us her GO pass to take the train into the city, which is much faster and easier. It was a great night and my parents and Madeline even saw us on tv! We were right by first base, 6 rows back!
PRAYER:
Still waiting, yet again for a bed at Sick Kids. They have been busier than normal, which is the reason for the delay. The nurse is going to check again this afternoon and this evening, so we may still hear from her later today. Or maybe I could just go into labour on my own? That would assure a spot at Sick Kids for the baby.
Our night out almost didn't happen last night. When we went to leave to drive to the GO station, the van was running rough and had white smoke coming out the tailpipe. My friend lent us her car for the evening and today we have started to look into getting it fixed. My friend's niece is going to take us to her mechanic, who she knows really well, which is nice because I won't feel like we're being made to pay more than we need to.
But...we called a mechanic friend at home this morning to get his opinion on the problem so we would have an idea, and if it what he thinks it is, it will be expensive and more than a one day job. So we are praying it's nothing that major. One praise item is that our friend has lent us her car in the meantime, so at least we aren't stranded.
Last night's events almost ruined the evening for me, which I know is something the enemy wanted, and I felt like I just couldn't take anything else going wrong. We prayed about it and managed to forget our problems for the evening, so we won over him! Ha ha satan...take that! We are just trying to continue to praise God for every situation we find our selves in...and that is hard sometimes, but I know there is power in praise.
I will continue to keep you updated on the baby watch...
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Induction Update - Edited Aug. 24
Monday August 24th - Still no room at Sick Kids and we spent 3 hours at the clinic. Basically, we repeat the process until something happens...tomorrow we call, see if there is room and if there is, I go in to be induced. If there is no room, I try again the next day, etc. The only other thing that would help would be for me to go into labour on my own...they they HAVE to find a bed for the baby.
The waiting is hard, it's hard not being at home, it's hard being away from Madeline, costing more money and Andy has started his last two weeks of holiday, so it's kind of being wasted right now by just waiting. I guess I need some patience. And faith.
Thank you for your prayers.
After waiting all morning waiting to hear if there is a bed at Sick Kids available (can't start induction until they have that) we finally just heard that there is no bed available. We will repeat this process tomorrow, but at least have been told that if there is no spot available, to go to the clinic and see our doctor and he will fight for us to get us in. Soon.
I'll update you as I know anything. Thanks for the prayers. We are now going to go out and find something to do, since we've spent the whole morning waiting by the phone.
The waiting is hard, it's hard not being at home, it's hard being away from Madeline, costing more money and Andy has started his last two weeks of holiday, so it's kind of being wasted right now by just waiting. I guess I need some patience. And faith.
Thank you for your prayers.
After waiting all morning waiting to hear if there is a bed at Sick Kids available (can't start induction until they have that) we finally just heard that there is no bed available. We will repeat this process tomorrow, but at least have been told that if there is no spot available, to go to the clinic and see our doctor and he will fight for us to get us in. Soon.
I'll update you as I know anything. Thanks for the prayers. We are now going to go out and find something to do, since we've spent the whole morning waiting by the phone.
Friday, August 21, 2009
I Think I'm Starting To Panic...
Okay...so maybe panic isn't the right word. Maybe the word I need is worry, or very concerned. Yes...that's it! I'm very concerned. Not about the baby's "supposed" condition (I use that term because we are believing, expecting nothing but a miracle. We expect to meet a baby that is PERFECTLY healthy and we are prepared to face whatever happens) but I'm concerned about being induced, or still maybe even possibly having a c-section.
Yesterday was an ultrasound here in Peterborough with the doctor who first made the diagnosis so that he could take more measurements for the doctors in Toronto. It seems, from what he said, that perhaps the baby will be bigger than they thought. The doctor last week said he determined that the baby would be a bit smaller than Madeline was, meaning that I could deliver her with no problem. But the doctor yesterday thinks she will be bigger (8 1/2 pounds) than Madeline (7 lbs. 11oz, who was born at 41 weeks). I think that means that if the doctors go with that weight estimate, they will probably do a c-section.
So here is what has me concerned. I've been doing some reading, to prepare myself because both c-sections and inducing are new to me. Madeline came on her own time and it was a smooth delivery. I have to wait (in Toronto) for them to contact me Sunday morning to make sure it's still okay to go ahead and induce (because they need to make sure there is a bed at Sick Kids for the baby. Not that she will need it...right God?). Then they will do another ultrasound, at which point they may decide to do a c-section. I don't want a c-section, but I'd rather be on the safe side for the baby's sake, and at least it would be over and done with quickly.
But...if they induce, they will apply the gel, and then monitor me and send me walking around (can't send me home because I live too far away). If, after a few hours nothing happens, they will reapply the gel and wait some more. Then, if still nothing, they will start the pitocin drip (which I REALLY do not want) and after all is said and done, if that doesn't help, I will end up with a c-section anyways.
So that is my concern...I am dreading a LONG day Sunday waiting for something to happen. I know it's silly, because having a baby is a waiting game anyways, but I guess because I'll be far from home, I don't know what doctor I'll have for delivery (possibly someone I've never met before) and I'm at the point I just want to get this over with. Plus, being induced could be more painful in the long run, because it's forcing my body to do something it may not be ready to do yet.
So I'm sorry this is so long winded...I think I need to get this out, and I wanted to share it on here with my Sisters because I know you'll be praying. It really would not bother me if this baby would decide to get things started in the next 24 hours, because then I could be here in our hospital in Peterborough, with my own doctor. But if that doesn't happen, I'm just hoping that if I need to be induced that things start to happen right away.
So...we will be heading to Saturday evening to spend the night at a friend's house and then hopefully heading into the hospital for 9am Sunday morning. And I will be e-mailing, posting on Facebook, and I am sure on here and my own blog too, information about the arrival (and hopefully some pictures too!) of the baby as soon as I can. I can hardly wait to meet her, and I will be equally as anxious to show her off, and finally let everyone know her name (it's a big deal in my family because we wouldn't tell anyone the name until she is born, and I like the names we picked...but I'll share more about that when she is here!).
So again, sorry to be long winded, but I knew I could count on you all to listen to me and pray for me. I received a beautiful prayer shawl from a lady who used to go to my church a long time ago, which I plan to take with me. Check my blog later today because I am planning to take a picture of it and share the story about it.
Yesterday was an ultrasound here in Peterborough with the doctor who first made the diagnosis so that he could take more measurements for the doctors in Toronto. It seems, from what he said, that perhaps the baby will be bigger than they thought. The doctor last week said he determined that the baby would be a bit smaller than Madeline was, meaning that I could deliver her with no problem. But the doctor yesterday thinks she will be bigger (8 1/2 pounds) than Madeline (7 lbs. 11oz, who was born at 41 weeks). I think that means that if the doctors go with that weight estimate, they will probably do a c-section.
So here is what has me concerned. I've been doing some reading, to prepare myself because both c-sections and inducing are new to me. Madeline came on her own time and it was a smooth delivery. I have to wait (in Toronto) for them to contact me Sunday morning to make sure it's still okay to go ahead and induce (because they need to make sure there is a bed at Sick Kids for the baby. Not that she will need it...right God?). Then they will do another ultrasound, at which point they may decide to do a c-section. I don't want a c-section, but I'd rather be on the safe side for the baby's sake, and at least it would be over and done with quickly.
But...if they induce, they will apply the gel, and then monitor me and send me walking around (can't send me home because I live too far away). If, after a few hours nothing happens, they will reapply the gel and wait some more. Then, if still nothing, they will start the pitocin drip (which I REALLY do not want) and after all is said and done, if that doesn't help, I will end up with a c-section anyways.
So that is my concern...I am dreading a LONG day Sunday waiting for something to happen. I know it's silly, because having a baby is a waiting game anyways, but I guess because I'll be far from home, I don't know what doctor I'll have for delivery (possibly someone I've never met before) and I'm at the point I just want to get this over with. Plus, being induced could be more painful in the long run, because it's forcing my body to do something it may not be ready to do yet.
So I'm sorry this is so long winded...I think I need to get this out, and I wanted to share it on here with my Sisters because I know you'll be praying. It really would not bother me if this baby would decide to get things started in the next 24 hours, because then I could be here in our hospital in Peterborough, with my own doctor. But if that doesn't happen, I'm just hoping that if I need to be induced that things start to happen right away.
So...we will be heading to Saturday evening to spend the night at a friend's house and then hopefully heading into the hospital for 9am Sunday morning. And I will be e-mailing, posting on Facebook, and I am sure on here and my own blog too, information about the arrival (and hopefully some pictures too!) of the baby as soon as I can. I can hardly wait to meet her, and I will be equally as anxious to show her off, and finally let everyone know her name (it's a big deal in my family because we wouldn't tell anyone the name until she is born, and I like the names we picked...but I'll share more about that when she is here!).
So again, sorry to be long winded, but I knew I could count on you all to listen to me and pray for me. I received a beautiful prayer shawl from a lady who used to go to my church a long time ago, which I plan to take with me. Check my blog later today because I am planning to take a picture of it and share the story about it.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
ENOUGH GLOOM AND DOOM!!!!
Okay, satan will not defeat me and I have just given him a great big punch in the face!!!
Having said that, I thought I would share a wonderful recipe with my Scarf/Apron sistas!
ROOSEVELT BEANS
1/2 pound bacon, chopped into smaller pieces
1 pound ground beef
1 onion chopped
Cook in large dutch oven until meat is done and onion is translucent.
Add:
1 can Pork & Beans, drained
1 can Lima Beans, drained
1 can Butter Beans, drained
1 can Kidney Beans, drained
1/2 cup packed Brown Sugar
2 T. cider vinegar
Seasoned Salt to taste
Seasoned Pepper to taste
1 t. minced Garlic
Spoon into 10" square cooking dish, sprayed with no-stick spray. Bake uncovered @ 375 degrees for 45 minutes. Serve with your favorite Cornbread and sweet kernel corn.
Positively YUMMY, Dave and Charlie absolutely loved it!
I found this recipe of Jim Chapman's, (Executive Chef Yellowstone's Restaurants) in this book I purchased while we were on vacation a couple of weeks ago.
Having said that, I thought I would share a wonderful recipe with my Scarf/Apron sistas!
ROOSEVELT BEANS
1/2 pound bacon, chopped into smaller pieces
1 pound ground beef
1 onion chopped
Cook in large dutch oven until meat is done and onion is translucent.
Add:
1 can Pork & Beans, drained
1 can Lima Beans, drained
1 can Butter Beans, drained
1 can Kidney Beans, drained
1/2 cup packed Brown Sugar
2 T. cider vinegar
Seasoned Salt to taste
Seasoned Pepper to taste
1 t. minced Garlic
Spoon into 10" square cooking dish, sprayed with no-stick spray. Bake uncovered @ 375 degrees for 45 minutes. Serve with your favorite Cornbread and sweet kernel corn.
Positively YUMMY, Dave and Charlie absolutely loved it!
I found this recipe of Jim Chapman's, (Executive Chef Yellowstone's Restaurants) in this book I purchased while we were on vacation a couple of weeks ago.
CAROL KENT
I am certain God directed me to this in light of our family's most recent situation. I don't know that my sister would be ready for this just yet but I hope she will be soon. It's 4 parts, * 30 minutes long and it's the powerful story of a Christian family and how their son was found guilty of 1st degree murder. She has also written a book and I will probably read it before I would send it to her.
Monday, August 17, 2009
PRAYERS DESPERATELY NEEDED!
I am requesting prayer PLEASE for my sister Gwen and her husband Fred Thomas. I just found out from my father that their son (my nephew Freddie) is in jail. They haven't allowed the family to speak to him because of the nature of the case although my brother who is a Minister, has been allowed to see him but he is unable to speak about it. This is a heart-breaking situation and I am praying for the truth to come out as well as justice being served.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Unveiling .. Sisterhood of the Traveling Scarf ... (drum roll please) .....
... And the 'Traveling Apron' .. season two:
This past spring I was trying to develop the theme for our next adventure. I have noticed that we all like to share about our ancestry, food, and family occasionally on our blogs (although not always in that order or together) so the idea of a traveling apron came to mind. Why not? Of course it couldn't be just an ordinary apron if it belongs to the Scarf Sisters. (Yes, we will still be called the Scarf Sisters:) One of our newest sisters is quite the seamstress and I had seen a few of her aprons (and quilts) she has posted on her blog. We go back many years as we used to be neighbors .. each of our families eventually moving to different states .. but, for the most part, keeping in contact. You know me, I have some 'hair brained' ideas at times .. so I offered to make a trade. She and her husband recently remodeled their kitchen (a complete gut job) in their early 1900's home. Their colors are aqua, red, black and white. Years ago (I mean decades) .. when I was just seven years old, a summer school teach
er taught some of her students to do Swedish embroidery. A tea towel was made (by yours truly) in guess what colors? Aqua, white and red. It's just been sitting neatly folded in my drawer for years and only displayed a few times so it's in nearly perfect condition. {I'm sure through Providence .. way back in the yonder I made this just for her} So I sent her the trade item with a few newly hand knit dish clothes and some hand made soap (you'll have to visit my Thrifty/Garden Home one of these days for instructions). Within a few short weeks she finished up the apron .. a one size/roomy vintage apron .. and sent it neatly pressed to me including another lovely gift. In my next visit with you, I'll post the particulars, make some introductions, announce new members, open up the registry to a few more ladies ... and come September we shall (always Lord willing) begin a new adventure that just might travel even further around the globe this time around.From: Silly old me ... aka ... Mrs. Mac
Thursday, August 13, 2009
10 Days and Counting...
Editorial update: For a recap of what's going on with the pending delivery/health of Julie and Andy's precious daughter, please read here. Mrs. Mac
Hi everyone,
10 days until my induction date (unless the little miss decides to show up early...which wouldn`t bother me in the least!). I`ve updated the baby`s carepage site, and you can find the link on my blog on the right hand side.
We are doing pretty well...but I am finding it is sinking in a lot more, and I`m starting to get nervous...more nervous than I was with Madeline. Mainly because if I deliver at Mount Sinai, I`ll be in a strange hospital, with the on-call doctor who I won`t have met before. One reason why, if baby came next week, I would be here at our hospital with my own doctor.
I just want to thank you all so much for your prayers, the notes and comments you`ve left for me. It`s been a really BIG help, and I know you`ve stood in the gap for me during those times when I can`t or don`t know what to pray.
Please continue to pray...there are so many unknowns and we`re just taking it day by day, which is hard for me because I`m a planner...and like to know what is going on.
I will be updating my blog and care page after the baby is here (with pictures of course) so keep an eye out for a special announcement in the coming days.
Thanks again...I`m glad to be a part of this sisterhood and am honoured to be one of the sisters!
Hi everyone,
10 days until my induction date (unless the little miss decides to show up early...which wouldn`t bother me in the least!). I`ve updated the baby`s carepage site, and you can find the link on my blog on the right hand side.
We are doing pretty well...but I am finding it is sinking in a lot more, and I`m starting to get nervous...more nervous than I was with Madeline. Mainly because if I deliver at Mount Sinai, I`ll be in a strange hospital, with the on-call doctor who I won`t have met before. One reason why, if baby came next week, I would be here at our hospital with my own doctor.
I just want to thank you all so much for your prayers, the notes and comments you`ve left for me. It`s been a really BIG help, and I know you`ve stood in the gap for me during those times when I can`t or don`t know what to pray.
Please continue to pray...there are so many unknowns and we`re just taking it day by day, which is hard for me because I`m a planner...and like to know what is going on.
I will be updating my blog and care page after the baby is here (with pictures of course) so keep an eye out for a special announcement in the coming days.
Thanks again...I`m glad to be a part of this sisterhood and am honoured to be one of the sisters!
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
UNDER THE RADAR
I have been flying "under the radar" for over a week now. So unlike me for anyone who knows how "out there" I can be at times (annoyingly so, I am sure). There is always so much activity and noise around me that if my life had to be summed up to music, it would be a calliope tune from the circus!
I have learned a few things this past week. The one thing that resonates in my heart and soul right now is the importance of the Marriage Relationship between husband and wife. That would seem natural given the situation with our daughter and her husband, right? Actually, I have been thinking more in terms of Dave and I. We don't have control over anyone elses relationship but our own.
The other night our Son-in-Law dropped by and we talked for a long time. When he left I began to cry. I guess "cry" isn't the word I would use, it was the UGLY cry. You know the one that comes from deep down inside, gutteral and primitive both at the same time. Dave is not one to display his emotions the way I do but I know how this has affected him. We're wives, we know our husbands! That's when God affirmed in me the importance of building up and investing in, the Marriage Relationship. Simply put, our children will disappoint us. Our children will hurt us whether it's unintentionally or selfishly motivated and if we have built our world around them, who are we going to turn to?
Our youngest is about to start college in less than 2 weeks. It's bittersweet to know that that chapter of my life has ended but I am eager for the next chapter to begin! The chapter entitled,
"Just Dave & I".
Dave and I began nurturing this next chapter in our lives, even when it was far off. He is truly my best friend, the one I want to hang with, my BFF! What could have been a depressing time for me, my Baby flying the nest and my "job" having been "down-sized & out-sourced", is instead, a time filled with opportunity and an optomistic outlook.
We are dealing with a Prodigal Child right now in our family. She has literally turned away from the way she was raised and has turned her back on the values we hold dear. She isn't worshiping satan but he definitely has her ear. I have no idea where this is going? I know God can do things in the lives of His children that we can't even imagine! I also know about free will too. I know that sometimes we have to get pretty low for us to FINALLY start looking up. You see, I KNOW a lot of things but right now I feel God is calling me to REST in Him and His promises. Hard to do when you're a parent and you see your child involved in self-destructive behavior! Somehow, I think the Ultimate Parent gets this concern better than I think He does!
As awful and as heart-breaking as this situation is, Dave and I can still make each other laugh or smile. We can still talk about other things besides the obvious elephant in the room and while we might respond differently because of our gender, emotions and reasoning, we are still united. Our heart's cords entwined with God's own cord, woven so tightly together that you can''t tell that there are 3 present, it just looks like one. There is no one else I would rather have standing by my side in life than this man who shares my life. This life with all of the joys and sorrows, its hills, valleys and flat lands.
I firmly believe that the day will come when Dave & I will wipe the sweat off our foreheads and shake our heads in disbelief that once again, God brought us through some really difficult times. Both of us and our marriage, stronger than before!
I have learned a few things this past week. The one thing that resonates in my heart and soul right now is the importance of the Marriage Relationship between husband and wife. That would seem natural given the situation with our daughter and her husband, right? Actually, I have been thinking more in terms of Dave and I. We don't have control over anyone elses relationship but our own.
The other night our Son-in-Law dropped by and we talked for a long time. When he left I began to cry. I guess "cry" isn't the word I would use, it was the UGLY cry. You know the one that comes from deep down inside, gutteral and primitive both at the same time. Dave is not one to display his emotions the way I do but I know how this has affected him. We're wives, we know our husbands! That's when God affirmed in me the importance of building up and investing in, the Marriage Relationship. Simply put, our children will disappoint us. Our children will hurt us whether it's unintentionally or selfishly motivated and if we have built our world around them, who are we going to turn to?
Our youngest is about to start college in less than 2 weeks. It's bittersweet to know that that chapter of my life has ended but I am eager for the next chapter to begin! The chapter entitled,
"Just Dave & I".
Dave and I began nurturing this next chapter in our lives, even when it was far off. He is truly my best friend, the one I want to hang with, my BFF! What could have been a depressing time for me, my Baby flying the nest and my "job" having been "down-sized & out-sourced", is instead, a time filled with opportunity and an optomistic outlook.
We are dealing with a Prodigal Child right now in our family. She has literally turned away from the way she was raised and has turned her back on the values we hold dear. She isn't worshiping satan but he definitely has her ear. I have no idea where this is going? I know God can do things in the lives of His children that we can't even imagine! I also know about free will too. I know that sometimes we have to get pretty low for us to FINALLY start looking up. You see, I KNOW a lot of things but right now I feel God is calling me to REST in Him and His promises. Hard to do when you're a parent and you see your child involved in self-destructive behavior! Somehow, I think the Ultimate Parent gets this concern better than I think He does!
As awful and as heart-breaking as this situation is, Dave and I can still make each other laugh or smile. We can still talk about other things besides the obvious elephant in the room and while we might respond differently because of our gender, emotions and reasoning, we are still united. Our heart's cords entwined with God's own cord, woven so tightly together that you can''t tell that there are 3 present, it just looks like one. There is no one else I would rather have standing by my side in life than this man who shares my life. This life with all of the joys and sorrows, its hills, valleys and flat lands.
I firmly believe that the day will come when Dave & I will wipe the sweat off our foreheads and shake our heads in disbelief that once again, God brought us through some really difficult times. Both of us and our marriage, stronger than before!
Sunday, August 9, 2009
This Blog is ...
Under construction ... it should be finished and ready for the new adventure in a few days. Stay tuned.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
My Doctor's Visit
Good morning Sisters. I am posting here to update you on my doctor's visit. I was not ready to share this on the web until after this visit because I had not yet talked to my Daddy and my MIL about my illness. I did so yesterday afternoon and can now be more open about everything.
I saw my gastroenterologist yesterday morning. I gave him the lab reports from Vanderbilt, specifically the liver biopsy results. He reviewed the reports, as well as Dr. Melvin's notes. He believes that I am in Grade 2, Stage 4 liver disease, or what is more commonly known as Cirrhosis or End Stage Liver Disease (ESLD). He attributes the disease to the fact that I have Type II Diabetes, elevated lipids and have been obese for most of my life. This set of factors is more commonly knows as Metabolic Syndrome, or Syndrome X. This is exactly what caused my husband's liver disease.
I have not yet developed the complications that would lead to what is called Decompensated Liver Disease. Some of those complications would be esophageal varices (basically varicose veins of the esophagus), encephalopathy (confusion caused by a build up of ammonia in your body due to your liver's inability to filter it), acites (fluid accumulation in the abdominal area or extremities) or abdominal varices. He says that, if I take care of myself, I can reasonably expect to continue to avoid these complications for about another 2 years. He reminded me that this is only an educated guess and that anything can happen at any time with this disease. I well remember that.
I will see both he and my Internist once quarterly to have labs drawn and will have an endoscopy (tube with camera down throat into stomach) once every 6 months to monitor the development of varices and will have a liver scan every 6-12 months to monitor the size of my liver and whether carcinomas have appeared. They would typically like to do an MRI of the liver annually, but I cannot have an MRI due to the presence of my gastric stimulator.
He feels I will definitely develop esophageal varices because I already have portal hypertension, as evidenced by the fact that my spleen is enlarged. The portal vein empties blood from the spleen and intestines into the liver. When scarring of the liver invades the portal vein, the blood backs up until it must seek other pathways of escape. When that happens, the small vessels of the esophagus are typically the first route of escape. The additional blood pressure causes the veins to swell and become at high risk for rupture.
Ruptured varices are one of the leading causes of death in those with liver disease. Terry had already developed varices before we ever knew of his disease. Therefore, I know I am not as sick as he was when we first found out about his disease.
I am relieved just to have everything out and to have had this visit with Dr. Short. He took care of Terry and I have great confidence in him. He was emphatic in telling me I must take time for myself now and take care of myself. My sister told him I have a difficult time doing that. He told her it was then the job of my family to make sure I did so! So, I guess he thinks he and my sisters are in control now! WRONG! I will , however, heed his advice and take care of myself.
More than anything, there are two things I desire at this time in my life. First of all, I want everything I do to honor and glorify the Lord of my life, Jesus Christ. Secondly, I do not want to become a burden on my family. I want to be able to care for myself and I expressed this to Dr. Short. He reminded me that I have to prepare myself for the fact that the chances are very likely that I will need them to care for me at some point before I die. Liver disease kills slowly and is most often a lingering death. I know these things and can accept whatever the Lord has for me in my future. It is in His hands and I know I can trust Him to do what is right both for me and for my family.
In closing, thank you each for your love, support and prayers. Please continue to pray. I am at a very good place emotionally with all of this. I have complete faith and trust in Jesus Christ. I know what He has planned for me is what is right for me. I will take care of myself and do all I can to make this time of my life productive and fulfilling. I will not give in to the temptation to be fatalistic about this diagnosis. I have liver disease. I also have a loving God who is in control of all aspects of my life. His plans may not be what I think they are or what my lab results reveal. I will trust Him and am prepared to accept whatever He asks of me.
I love you, my Sisters. I am so thankful to have each of you in my life.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
REGARDLESS PEACE
Maybe you've found yourself in this same place as I am right now. It's a place I refer to as REGARDLESS PEACE. When I was younger the thought of REGARDLESS PEACE frustrated me because I wanted answers right away! As I have grown older and somewhat wiser, I have found the value in the simplicity of REGARDLESS PEACE. Quite possibly it's because it comes from God Himself and that is the reason why it has such value to me.
I remember a specific time that I experienced REGARDLESS PEACE. It was during a traumatic and difficult time in our family's life. One of our children was living in rebellion and was no longer under our roof. The knowledge that I was going to be a Grandmother for the very first time had left me dead and empty inside. I should have been joyful but under the circumstances, I was anything but. I was detattched and disinterested with anything to do with the impending event. I made attempts to be involved but my own superficiality left me feeling terrible about myself. Our daughter had moved back home and as the date grew closer I hated myself more and more for how I was feeling. Those closest to me were loving and supportive and told me to "give it time" and that, after a lot of hurt it was only natural for me to have built walls. I cried out to God telling Him what an awful person I was for feeling the way I did. It was at that very moment that He spoke REGARDLESS PEACE into my soul. As if it were an audible voice His voice was so incredibly clear I heard Him say,
"This is YOUR journey. No one can tell you that what you are feeling is wrong because they are YOUR feelings. Just remember you are not walking this journey alone, I am with you, right beside you holding your hand until you come out the other side."
In all of this I never heard what God was going to specifically DO to make our lives better. His promise of peace, regardless of what was swirling around on the outside, was simply enough for me!
Two weeks after our first grandchild was born I was holding her. As I looked into her innocent face, waves of love just crashed over me! I literally staggered as I remembered God's REGARDLESS PEACE. He had come through when I wasn't even looking for it!
Another time I remember God's REGARDLESS PEACE is when I had to have my bone-marrow biopsy 5 years ago. During what was to be a routine procedure with my regular doctor, she discovered that my platelet count was VERY low. I was immediately whisked into the world of Oncology where cancer was suspect in my condition. To determine what was going on, a biopsy needed to be performed. I was only 44 years old, still raising a family and looking forward to mine and Dave's future once we were retired. Before the procedure God once again spoke REGARDLESS PEACE into my soul. Again, in a voice so clear I'm certain that I actually heard it, He said to me,
"I am here walking this road with you. You and Dave are not alone and everything will be fine."
What I wanted to hear Him say was that there was no cancer and that this was nothing to worry about. The comfort I found in REGARDLESS PEACE sustained me through the 10 day waiting period for the results. As it turned out, I did NOT have cancer but I DO have an auto-immune disease which we have been dealing with for quite some time now. No quick fix here but I am still sustained.
What is it in the human psyche that yearns for community? We want to know that we are not alone in our struggles. We cry out for a companion on our lonely path to help us as we stumble along, groping in the dark. We need to feel the strength and support of those we love. God provides all of that. Sometimes He puts those people in our path that we lean on. Sometimes all we hear is REGARDLESS PEACE. Make no mistake, both are from God.
Once again I am in that special place. I have shut the door to our bathroom, cried out to God and through my tears and bitter anguish He has once again provided me with REGARDLESS PEACE. He has spoken His abiding presence into my life providing me with encouragement and comfort. Regardless of any outward circumstances He is there. As Beth Moore taught in her "Daniel" Bible Study, sometimes God delivers us FROM the fire, sometimes He delivers us IN the fire and sometimes He delivers us THROUGH the fire. I will trust in Him to know what is best for me, what will mold me more into the image of Christ.
There I will wait with Him, REGARDLESS....
I remember a specific time that I experienced REGARDLESS PEACE. It was during a traumatic and difficult time in our family's life. One of our children was living in rebellion and was no longer under our roof. The knowledge that I was going to be a Grandmother for the very first time had left me dead and empty inside. I should have been joyful but under the circumstances, I was anything but. I was detattched and disinterested with anything to do with the impending event. I made attempts to be involved but my own superficiality left me feeling terrible about myself. Our daughter had moved back home and as the date grew closer I hated myself more and more for how I was feeling. Those closest to me were loving and supportive and told me to "give it time" and that, after a lot of hurt it was only natural for me to have built walls. I cried out to God telling Him what an awful person I was for feeling the way I did. It was at that very moment that He spoke REGARDLESS PEACE into my soul. As if it were an audible voice His voice was so incredibly clear I heard Him say,
"This is YOUR journey. No one can tell you that what you are feeling is wrong because they are YOUR feelings. Just remember you are not walking this journey alone, I am with you, right beside you holding your hand until you come out the other side."
In all of this I never heard what God was going to specifically DO to make our lives better. His promise of peace, regardless of what was swirling around on the outside, was simply enough for me!
Two weeks after our first grandchild was born I was holding her. As I looked into her innocent face, waves of love just crashed over me! I literally staggered as I remembered God's REGARDLESS PEACE. He had come through when I wasn't even looking for it!
Another time I remember God's REGARDLESS PEACE is when I had to have my bone-marrow biopsy 5 years ago. During what was to be a routine procedure with my regular doctor, she discovered that my platelet count was VERY low. I was immediately whisked into the world of Oncology where cancer was suspect in my condition. To determine what was going on, a biopsy needed to be performed. I was only 44 years old, still raising a family and looking forward to mine and Dave's future once we were retired. Before the procedure God once again spoke REGARDLESS PEACE into my soul. Again, in a voice so clear I'm certain that I actually heard it, He said to me,
"I am here walking this road with you. You and Dave are not alone and everything will be fine."
What I wanted to hear Him say was that there was no cancer and that this was nothing to worry about. The comfort I found in REGARDLESS PEACE sustained me through the 10 day waiting period for the results. As it turned out, I did NOT have cancer but I DO have an auto-immune disease which we have been dealing with for quite some time now. No quick fix here but I am still sustained.
What is it in the human psyche that yearns for community? We want to know that we are not alone in our struggles. We cry out for a companion on our lonely path to help us as we stumble along, groping in the dark. We need to feel the strength and support of those we love. God provides all of that. Sometimes He puts those people in our path that we lean on. Sometimes all we hear is REGARDLESS PEACE. Make no mistake, both are from God.
Once again I am in that special place. I have shut the door to our bathroom, cried out to God and through my tears and bitter anguish He has once again provided me with REGARDLESS PEACE. He has spoken His abiding presence into my life providing me with encouragement and comfort. Regardless of any outward circumstances He is there. As Beth Moore taught in her "Daniel" Bible Study, sometimes God delivers us FROM the fire, sometimes He delivers us IN the fire and sometimes He delivers us THROUGH the fire. I will trust in Him to know what is best for me, what will mold me more into the image of Christ.
There I will wait with Him, REGARDLESS....
Latest
I have sent an e-mail out in regards to our latest situation. I don't have everyone's e-mail addresses from looking at our roster. If you did not receive this e-mail and would like for me to send it you, please e-mail me at:
edelweisstexas1@aol.com
and I will forward it to you.
Thanks,
Connie
edelweisstexas1@aol.com
and I will forward it to you.
Thanks,
Connie
Monday, August 3, 2009
PRAYER REQUEST
UPDATE:
Dave and I spoke with Laura this evening. I fear our words fell on deaf ears. Please pray that satan will be bound and that God's truth would penetrate her hardened heart. They haven't even been married a year yet and I feel that they are at a cross roads! I have God's peace but my heart is still breaking.
Yesterday we returned from a wonderful vacation from Yellowstone, life was good. Later in the evening, Dave received a phone call from our Son In Law and I feel as if I have been kicked in the guts. One of our children's marriages is in severe trouble.
Please pray for their marriage: that our daughter would open her heart once again to her husband, that she would not continue to listen to un-Godly advice and that she would return to the Lord and allow Him to work in this situation. Our SIL is willing, she however appears to have her mind made up and has stated that she wants a divorce. (They have met with our Pastor twice already unbeknownt to us)
Please do NOT mention anything specific in my comments as she reads my blog and I do not feel that this is the time to let her know that others have been asked to pray for them.
Needless to say this is breaking my heart and I am asking for wisdom and guidance for Dave and I as we talk with her this evening.
I know that I can share my heart here and I am grateful for your intercession!
Connie
Dave and I spoke with Laura this evening. I fear our words fell on deaf ears. Please pray that satan will be bound and that God's truth would penetrate her hardened heart. They haven't even been married a year yet and I feel that they are at a cross roads! I have God's peace but my heart is still breaking.
Yesterday we returned from a wonderful vacation from Yellowstone, life was good. Later in the evening, Dave received a phone call from our Son In Law and I feel as if I have been kicked in the guts. One of our children's marriages is in severe trouble.
Please pray for their marriage: that our daughter would open her heart once again to her husband, that she would not continue to listen to un-Godly advice and that she would return to the Lord and allow Him to work in this situation. Our SIL is willing, she however appears to have her mind made up and has stated that she wants a divorce. (They have met with our Pastor twice already unbeknownt to us)
Please do NOT mention anything specific in my comments as she reads my blog and I do not feel that this is the time to let her know that others have been asked to pray for them.
Needless to say this is breaking my heart and I am asking for wisdom and guidance for Dave and I as we talk with her this evening.
I know that I can share my heart here and I am grateful for your intercession!
Connie
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