I'm putting them on like God's full armor.
Lending ear to the devil is a dangerous thing I often find myself doing.
How he tormented me, "You have nothing to tell about walking, spreading the word of God. You're a good-for-nothing person not attending church or serving the way the other sisters do."
Well, he's kind of right, you know. I don't preach, and the last ten years or so I actually haven't done much to help or serve actively in the church either.
When I go to church, I do so to get food for my hungry soul, rest for my tormented mind and get filled with joy through the Scripture, the hymns, the communion, even the beauty of the building.
(I need to add I did my share as Serina grew up, following to Sunday School, scout camps, even baking or making buns of puffed rice and chocolate for family gatherings at the YWCA/YMCA, attending gospel concerts where Serina and her lot were performing, Gunnar driving to and from each Friday evening when other adult pairs were busy having fun themselves, gathering money to support the trips to Paris, Estonia or wherever the choirs and scouts were headed.)
I think I'm making excuses for not being a church-working-going type. I am who I am, trying not to pretend being better or more engaged.
I've had to find my own way of being a Christian, serving God as honest as I can.
My Mom always instructed me to work for the face of God and not be an Eye servant.
I've tried to do that, with many flaws and failures.
If something, this has become my way of being a Christian.
I cannot be a straightforward A4 person. I wasn't cut out to be this way. I am not even honoring Christ the way I'd like to.
Nevertheless I am a person friends call in times of trouble and ask for prayers. They know I'm weak, they sometimes despise me, but they know that's why I've become a praying person. I cannot do or be anything without God. Because I'm weak, I am strong.
2 Chor. 3:2 "Ye are our epistle written in our hearts, known and read of all men."
