When Old Becomes New....

How easy it is to nuture, to soothe over, to want to be the one to fix that which is not mine to fix......it doesn't seem right to sit idly by and do nothing....

not only that but it seems a severe test.......

Is it not the Lord who imparts unto us strength of character?

The Lord is my strength.....My sufficiency is of God. (2 Cor. 3:5) those words compelled me to sit quietly. For once..... listening to God, pleasing God became more important to me than listening to anyone else or pleasing anyone else....including myself.

If  I measure my journey this year, October to October, it's been a silent time...I accept it for what it is....a year of quiet meditation and resting under the loving guidance of my Savior. It's not that this Isn't the norm for me, but this particular season of my life drew me to Him with greater reverence and a heart more desperate for answers, earnestly seeking peace. Peace I knew only He could provide. Daily doses of the Bible accompanied by my own personal studies and some familiar writings of a few favorite authors gave me the necessary fuel to face each day.

still I asked ...."to what depths must I go to find this beauty You are speaking of.....It's futile to rely on my feelings because they lie to me. there's no purpose in clinging to emotions for they deceive me; what I must do is deny myself and begin some obedient walking; make measurable efforts and steps to find this so-called beauty in the mess of mine...

 "healing does not mean going back to the way things were before, but rather allowing what is "now" to move us closer to God. This quote from Ram Dass brought me comfort. To lean on God like never before, to pray more, break old behavior patterns, break away and draw new breath into my life...without losing sight of where He'd brought me from. Positive measures to take.

 "Broken things can become blessed things if you let God do the mending....I don't know who wrote that line, but I remember the day I read it....thinking how much He probably wanted to do something to fix me ....restore me to my original self or at least to a place where I might gain a greater perspective of myself......

looking across the room to a bin filled with pieces of fabric, my mind went crazy looking at the colors, shapes, sizes, the patterns and the textures. The varying threads woven into each piece....what would they look like put together as one....probably pretty ugly.  I decided it was a project I could work on in the physical realm as well my spiritual and continually ask God for clarity.

It's been a great experience....and I will share more on another day......